feedback on the first draft of documentary

Feedback on my preliminary task 

So in class we had one lesson of watching everybody's first draft documentary, and we had to give feedbacks to one and another, on how to improve it, how could it be better next time?

 what went well? And so this is what the people in the class had to say about my documentary..

  

Some of the people said that they liked how I used more than one interview, and it's good to know more than one person's viewpoint. In the documentary I also got them to talk in their first language (Chinese and Japanese).

However they said it would be better if I can explain what they are talking about in a shorter sentecnce rather than just writing one paragraph in the caption since the audience would find it too long and boring. 

I could also lower the volume of the music down a bit next time and perhaps use a microphone to do that, most of the poeple aslo recommended me to put in images or examples while talking it over it. (maybe use voice over) I could also shoot a little catwalk either film it in Bangkok or anywhere, would be a good idea. Alot of people also said that sometimes the documentary was a bit rushed and i could improve on the transition next time. 

I personal would want to choose a new music background to make it fit in better say if I was doing a participatory mode or a poetic mode. Most of the scenes will be refilmed, with a better camera quality however, now I know what works, what didn't and how I can improve it better for the my final documentary.